Monday, August 23, 2010

It is Official!

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The Proposal

The Morgans invited me to join their family on vacation for a week up north. I really appreciated being included and I was very excited because I had never been up north before.

On Sunday August 8th Dan came over to my house early in the morning so we could drive up together. His family wouldn't be leaving for several more hours. Anyway, Dan woke me up and helped me get my stuff in his car. Then we drove. Well, he drove. I slept.

We got to the cottage at Thumb Lake around noon, unloaded all our stuff and did a bit of paddle boating. Then we headed to Petosky in search of food. We used the GPS to figure out what was in the area and finally ended up in a quiet mexican restaurant. It was a good choice.

Neither one of us can remember exactly what order things happened after lunch, but we did some shopping, we got custard (delicious!) and we searched for a gas station. Dan drove up and down the road several times while I pointed out gas stations. Every time he would say something like, "I am on the wrong side of the road" or "Just missed it, we'll keep driving". Eventually we did stop and fill up.

It never occurred to me that Dan actually knew this area really well. I think it partly had to do with the fact that Dan almost exclusively uses Mobile gas stations and we did in fact end up at a Mobile station. If he had stopped somewhere else I would have perhaps wondered what all the driving was about. 

So, by now it is getting later in the evening and I thought we were going to just head back to the cottage. Little did I know that all that driving around was just a ruse to pass time so the sun could get a little lower in the sky! All of a sudden Dan just decides to pull into this park and get out of the car. I just followed him. After a short walk we came to a nice grassy spot under a birch tree on the shore of Little Traverse Bay. The sun was setting as we stood there together. We were both quiet, just taking in the beauty of God's creation. After a bit we sat down and just continued being together. I remember feeling incredibly content and happy  being with Dan. I had really enjoyed our whole day together.

After awhile Dan and I did exchange a few words. Here again neither one of us remembers what exactly was said... except for one thing is for sure... Dan asked me to marry him. I think I just stared at him for a minute without saying anything. Even though I knew in my head and my heart that I wanted to marry Dan, I was now face to face with the decision and I really didn't feel ready for it at all. I wasn't expecting the proposal for maybe another month and I was in my sweatshirt and I hadn't done a thing to my hair or put any make-up on all day. This was not my idea of a proposal. Not that I even had much of an idea what that was... but it just wasn't this. After a little prompting from Dan I did say "yes". I knew even if I didn't feel like it at this moment that I did want to marry him and I didn't want to hurt his feelings (he was so very nervous, he could barely get the words out! and he had actually put a lot of planning in to the timing. and he had succeeded in surprising me, which is really difficult!).

Afterwards I was feeling really disappointed, scared and homesick. Later that night I shared my feelings with Dan. I even told him that I mostly said yes because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and that I had really felt like asking for more time to think. He let me know that he wanted me to be comfortable with the decision, that we didn't have to tell anyone until I was ready and that he would even ask me again if he needed to. I walked away for a few minutes. When I came back I felt much calmer and asked Dan to ask me again.

I expected him to just ask me right then and there. Instead he insisted that I follow him down to the dock on the lake. It is about 1 am at this time. It is pitch black outside and we are basically in the middle of nowhere. I really did not want to walk down those stairs to the lake. Every little movement and sound startled me. Once we got down the stairs Dan carried me over the sand on to the dock.

We walked to the end of the dock, sat down together and looked up at one of the most amazing views ever. I don't think I have ever seen so many stars! It was beyond beautiful. As we gazed at the stars Dan talked to me. This time he  wasn't a bit nervous. He recounted memorable events from our relationship. He told me how he loved me. All of me. And then... after a good long time... and at least three shooting stars... then he asked me again, "Will you marry me?"

This time I was most ready and I replied, "Yes! Yes, yes, yes, I will marry you."


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The Ring

I asked Dan not to propose to me with a ring, reasoning that I wanted to marry him not the jewelry. And anyway, we had something else besides a ring in mind for our outward symbol of engagement...

As soon as we got home from vacation we went out and got my nose pierced. It hurt. It really hurt. Dan was exceptionally sweet and held my hand... I mean had his hand squeezed half to death...through the experience. It was all worth it to both of us. We love my new piercing and feel it seals our agreement to get married.

After we get it sized I will be wearing my Mimi's (My grandmother whom I was very close to and miss immensely ever since she passed away several years ago.) engagement ring to make it easier for the general public to understand that I am in fact engaged.


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A few thoughts...

I was completely unprepared for the rush of confusing feelings that hit me when Dan proposed. I didn't expect their would be any hesitation. If I had allowed my feelings to take over I know the consequences could have been much worse than a simple momentary hesitation. I could have said no and lost the man that I truly love. I am so very glad that I have a solid foundation for my relationship that goes much deeper than mere affections.

I feel so blessed that Dan is willing to try and understand me. That he respects me even when he doesn't understand. That he is patient with me. That he always puts forth his best effort. That he is willing to do something over and over again until he gets it right. And so much more! I am so very blessed that Dan loves me and really wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Thank you God for Dan and for our very unperfect real life love.

So there is the story of how I was proposed to. It is not movie like. There were no roses or diamond ring. Dan didn't even get down on one knee. But that is all fine with me. I love Dan. I love our real life together. I wouldn't trade this life for a hundred perfect lives. I am tremendously excited to be officially engaged to marry my best friend and lover Daniel Morgan.


5 comments:

  1. Congratulations! That is sooo Exciting!
    ~

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  2. ^_^ Caloo-Callay - congrats!!!!!!

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  3. Congratulations! I found your blog through S&S, and loved reading your engagement story. May the Lord richly bless you as you navigate this joyful (but sometimes stressful! :)) time!

    Blessings,
    Luci

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  4. Hi, my name is Camille and I just started reading. I got your link from Feelin' Feminine's blogroll.

    I am so happy for you! That was such a beautiful engagment story (as "unperfect" as it was). It is not about the place or scene of the proposal, but about the person and your love for each other (although I'm sure it was amazing to be proposed to under the stars!).

    Can't wait to "read around" on your blog! It looks awesome.

    -Camille.

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