I just found my notes from a sermon this summer where the pastor used a banana split as a metaphor for the best sex recipe. The banana split part didn't make much sense to me (especially since he was like trying to keep it G rated at the same time and cut the banana up!), but I am going to include it here anyway.
He started with 4 facts of Kissing (not to be applied in Church)
1. Kissing relives stress by releasing mood elevating endorphins in the brain.
2. Kissing firms the muscles in your face and it is cheaper than botox or a face lift.
3. Kissing boosts the immune system because of the exchange of saliva, but don't kiss a lot of people to super boost.
4. Kissing burns 2 calories a min and it could lead to more vigorous exercise.
God's Recipe for a Great Life of Sex
Thesis:Sex is a God given gift, but it has to be enjoyed in a God honoring way.
Sex is a powerful force, but it is a dependent force because it has to be combined with a few other things to work well (hence the banana split metaphor).
Container: Sexual Love (eros) needs agape love as a secure foundation. unconditional love. commitment. Without agape eros is never secure enough to blossom fully.
Another illustration: A pyramid with three layers, Agape is the foundation, Phileo (frienship love) is the middle and the peak is Eros. Our culture takes this pyramid, flips it upside down and tries to balance a love life on eros.
Vanilla Ice Cream: Sexual intimacy is fueled by exclusivity. The more it is just your (husband and wife) secret alone the more it becomes powerful and delightful.
Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
- Proverbs 5:15-7
Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." - 1 Corinthians 6:16
The more you share sex around the more you dilute the power of sexual intmacy.
If you have messed up on this God can rebuild and restore. God is a God of forgiveness
If you haven't messed up yet, remember that God isn't putting all these rules around you to wreck sex, but to delight you with sex. In the context of one husband one wife you can have the best sex.
Bananas: Sexual fulfillment grows in an environment of patience, it does not grow under pressure or competition. Sexual love grows when it is safe and secure and there is time. And especially for the man to be very very patient over a lifetime with his woman.
Love is Patient. - 1 Corinthians 13:4
His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
- Song of Solomon 2:6-7
"The maiden is responding here to her lover, her senses are being stirred by his presence and the affirmations of his love. She finds herself feasting on it all as if he is a tree that provides relief from the sun and delicious fruit for her hunger. Her satisfaction lies in her lover. She begins with a desire for his kisses, but now she begins to long for more, for his embrace. The beloved is being carried away by her passions. She relishes the joy. Yet, she knows that love should have it's own rhythm and it's proper progression. Too fast, too soon would spoil it all. So she adjourns the women of Jerusalem not to encourage love beyond it's right and proper pace."
Chocolate: Sexual Fulfillment is something you give not take. Unselfishness. Don't be in this for what you can get out of it. Seek not to be satisfied, but to satisfy.
Love... is not self-seeking. - 1 Corinthians 13:5
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. - 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
And the same passage from The Message
The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.
Whip Cream: Sexual Passion has permission from God. Sexual passion is in the Bible. In the Song of Solomon there ain't no babies, it is just pleasure going on. Catch the little foxes so that they may not spoil the vineyard. Get out all those little distractions so you can just focus on each other.
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.
- Proverbs 5:18-19
Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. - 1 Corinthians 7:5
Sprinkles: Your most powerful sexual organ is your mind.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:1-2
Guard your mind, don't let the world wreck your mind. Don't sow thoughts in the wrong direction or you will reap a destiny of sexual destruction and disappointment.
Cherry: Sexual love can only exist in an atmosphere of forgiveness.
Love... keeps no record of wrongs. - 1 Corinthians 13:5
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 3:31-32
(All scriptures NIV)